I just made out with a guy for $7.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
