I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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