weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
