you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
