i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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