You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
