3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
