The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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