you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
