I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
