k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
