I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
