Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
God, you're like boner-b-gone
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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