Christians are straight up FREAKS
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
