i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
