He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
