question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
