i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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