We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
