i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
