This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
