garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
