Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
