I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
