your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
