I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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