I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I queefed so loud it echoed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You may now shotgun with the bride
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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