oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
