She is in my trunk
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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