Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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