we're blogging at a bar
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
