I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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