I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
