We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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