i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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