One girl and one boy is just not enough.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
