the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
