Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize