Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
