dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
