i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
high people should be assigned attendants
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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