she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
