weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
