he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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