Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
