I cockslap morals
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
