Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
