Your dad touched me again.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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