How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
