I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
