I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There r osticjed everywhere
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
