Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize