I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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