I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
