when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
