Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
