anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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