Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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