I'm drive I can fine osifer
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
