I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
