How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
